tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post359809228239690531..comments2023-04-17T09:19:20.947-07:00Comments on the beginning of wisdom: christian subculture and the stay-at-home-momjen wilkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02934053593868428344noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-40229674681651916242017-09-20T07:51:46.934-07:002017-09-20T07:51:46.934-07:00THANK YOU for recognizing the complexities of this...THANK YOU for recognizing the complexities of this issue. <br /><br />My husband is an artist. Though he earns a good income in marketing, it has never been enough to make ends meet. I must work full-time outside the home. It was an easy “choice” for me because I enjoy my work. <br /><br />The only time I ever struggle with it is at church. <br /><br />When my first child was born I began to feel excluded from church activities for women because I work during the week. One Mother's Day my (now former) pastor gave a sermon on "Biblical Motherhood" and it was ALL about SAHM's. The only "exception" he recognized was single moms. He was less than responsive when I reached out to him to clarify. <br /><br />I have felt resentment for years because I feel inadequate next to SAHMs in church. I have felt completely ignored while SAHM’s are celebrated as more godly, selfless, etc. My oldest is now 9, and I still don't feel I completely belong in church, solely because church “culture” seems to "exalt" SAHM's and ignore working moms. If I felt God calling me to be a SAHM (I don’t), or if I could point to a single Bible verse that mandates moms stay home, that would be different (I can’t). <br /><br />I have made sacrifices to focus more at home. I went to law school but quickly discovered the time/focus that career demanded was not compatible with raising kids. Some women can do it; I can’t. I have happily been a paralegal for seven years, making less than a third the income I would make as an attorney. But while it enables me to focus more at home, I still have to work full-time. <br /><br />Please don't hear me wrong - I am NOT complaining, I am simply stating the facts of my situation. And that’s the key: we each have different situations. We need not jump to conclusions about anyone else’s situation. We need to focus on Christ and the work he has given us.<br /><br />Again, the only time I struggle as a working mom is at church. I have to ignore frustration and resentment when I see announcements for VBS and MOM's meetings during the workday. My kids cannot attend VBS at my church because of this issue. I have felt the need to explain to people why I work. Working moms are treated as the exception in church, not a normal part of church culture. Frankly, that needs to change. And yet, most pastors I've encountered seem to stare blankly when asked about this. Their wives often don't work outside the home, and the calling to stay home is simply treated as more godly.<br /><br />All that said, this post is very encouraging. I love the point about how society might be affected if all Christian moms left the workplace. I was raised by a working mom, and so was my mom, and so was my grandmother (LONG before Women’s Lib). I never felt I was missing anything as a child. And I don’t feel my kids are missing anything. I am convinced, always have been, this is God's calling for me. I have peace about it, EXCEPT when I’m at church.<br /><br />Selfishness, as the post says, knows no boundaries in the human heart. Being a SAHM can be just as self-exalting a choice as working. We can make idols out of staying home, and our careers. The problem isn’t whether we work or not. It’s whether we’re sinners, and we all know the answer to that. Anyone who assumes staying home is always less selfish than working, doesn't understand the nature of human sin. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11646998184348102922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-19275533271292022922016-10-27T07:16:22.714-07:002016-10-27T07:16:22.714-07:00I am only finding this article today as well. It ...I am only finding this article today as well. It is a wonderful, encouraging article as I am a working mom, going to college and yet my husband has just taken over the family business and I may not need to work any longer. I have given birth to 4 children but we have 6 total, our youngest is 11. I had to work as a single mother for years before I met my husband and now that things may be changing where I can stay at home our children are 22, 21, 19, 18, 16 and 11. I've worked outside the home for over 20 years. I have done all I could to host Bible Study's in my home in the evenings, stay involved in the church, etc. and the guilt, uncertainty, and FEAR that all of my efforts may still not being enough - are real. I don't fit in with ambitious working women and nor do I fit in with SAHMs. My focus has to remain on what I truly believe the Lord is calling me to and it has always been and remains to raise my children in the love and admonition of the Lord and Love my husband as myself and honor him - and recognize where I am not enough - Jesus most certainly is on my side and more than willing to fill in the gaps. I believe my education and work experience do help equip my children and give them intelligence, and perspectives but nothing is greater than pointing them to Jesus. In the end I believe this article focuses on what is really the issue – “A mother’s true enemies - selfishness and self-centeredness - know no job description.” Well stated Jen. Christ's peace and love be with all of you and your precious families.CEO of JBC, Inc.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17358971838887203242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-57406069461423320362016-10-04T11:46:36.516-07:002016-10-04T11:46:36.516-07:00I'm concerned that you're concerned about ...I'm concerned that you're concerned about women developing an independent spirit (!) -- that is truly your fear? I don't think an independent spirit needs must indicate a lack of submission. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05436312845642858170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-27896596185917363022016-10-04T11:45:45.402-07:002016-10-04T11:45:45.402-07:00I love the volume of people who say "yes, gre...I love the volume of people who say "yes, great article ... but seriously, being a SAHM is key and the right way to live." This is a complicated issue. Every family is different. Every family has its owns up and downs and ability or lack thereof to have a parent at home. I encourage everyone who responds with the "great, but ... " response to consider the realm of experience beyond their own. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05436312845642858170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-11018753072319476272016-06-27T13:25:54.578-07:002016-06-27T13:25:54.578-07:00I realize that this post is a couple of years old,...I realize that this post is a couple of years old, but I stumbled upon it as a working mom who is looking for a good read on how to deal with the guilt. I agree with the comment above that you are assuming a lot about people's lives and circumstances. There are so many variables that come into play. I am probably one of those moms you speak of because anyone who knows me well knows that I want nothing more than to be able to stay home. And I often do feel the need to justify/explain myself to my SAHM friends because it is very much a part of the christian subculture to make working moms feel like what we are seeking is not "of God". But, I have never wanted to be a working mom. When I had to go back to work with my youngest, I had a major breakdown. I cried inconsolably for days. There was absolutely nothing I could do to change our family dynamic/circumstance because I have always made substantially more $$ than my husband. I was rather ambitious in college while...he was not. Straight out of school, I made almost double his income. We got pregnant within a year of marriage, pretty much straight out of school, not by our plans, but God's. There was never a buffer period for us or an opportunity to save or get financially prepared for having kids. For years we lived paycheck to paycheck and struggled to make ends meet even with us both working and by all accounts we lived a very modest lifestyle. I get very frustrated with comments like "it takes sacrifice" or "we just have different priorities'. There were times early in our marriage when I went to the grocery that my husband would tell me, "if it goes over $75 you have to start putting stuff back." Things gradually started getting easier and to many I am sure it would seem that I shouldn't have to work. But what they don't realize is that yes with my income we were and are comfortable, but on his alone we would have needed and indeed we would have qualified for government assistance. This is the case for many families...my sister and brother's families included. It really isn't so black and white. AMAChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17991304567176390160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-18064649140315730242014-11-14T13:32:00.362-08:002014-11-14T13:32:00.362-08:00I agree that judging others is usually an unloving...I agree that judging others is usually an unloving and sinful thing to do. We don't know the situation or heart of another. We ought to generally avoid it. I do want to say, that there is a design for the family that is a powerful and vital witness, the Gospel by example. The first institution God made is the family and all other institutions have depended on that (though that is rapidly changing - and things are becoming chaotic!). The design for marriage and the family, and for the identity and relations between men and women God has described and clearly values in His Word. That design is the complementary roles of husband and wife/man and woman, the godly leadership, protection, and provision of men (including but not limited to husbands) complemented by the respectful submission and help of women (including but not only, wives) appropriate to the relationship they are in. When a wife works, her priority has to be to some other enterprise and someone else often another man. I think it is possible to work with a godly attitude of submitting to and helping one's husband. Certainly it is possible to work as a single woman according to these truths. But often, working can nurture an independent spirit in a woman and undermine a man's full sense of who he is in Gods image; we may not be helping him when we do what he is designed to do.To a watching, unbelieving world, it is a relief. We often look just like them and they are not convicted. It is a world full of sin and so are we...it is impossible to do anything perfectly and often even really well (praise God for His mercy to us!). But I do think, in our ever growing process of becoming more like Him by our loving obedience and His power, we can all aim to more fully reflect His design for marriage and the family each in our own unique situations. In addition, trusting Him, with wisdom, to provide for us as we do make choices to more closely follow His design gives Him a chance to really show His amazing power and care for us.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06261355076915578543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-82776367621619032252014-10-14T00:18:32.146-07:002014-10-14T00:18:32.146-07:00I appreciate the insights of this article. As a SA...I appreciate the insights of this article. As a SAHM I think we should work to break down the dividing wall of jealousy and judgments and create a biblical support system for each other. See "Letter to a Working Mom from a Stay-at-Home Mom: 5 Promises." <br />http://gospelcenteredmom.blogspot.com/2014/10/letter-to-working-mom-from-stay-at-home.htmlAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11577727134282123356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-33629516801918320872014-09-03T11:04:07.662-07:002014-09-03T11:04:07.662-07:00Your second point seems a bit odd to me. A married...Your second point seems a bit odd to me. A married woman will be under plenty of authorities "outside of" her husband: her pastor, the government, etc. That does not mean she is being an unsubmissive wife! Goodness. To be under our husbands' authority specifically relates to matters of marriage and family, to honor his leadership there. It doesn't preclude our being "under" other figures. I would agree that the marriage comes first, but question your assumption that working outside of the home puts a woman in conflict with her husband's leadership.Rebekahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11963271973595889713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-38239328761110742602014-03-05T18:48:37.821-08:002014-03-05T18:48:37.821-08:00I hate to say it but i disagree with you. :( I d...I hate to say it but i disagree with you. :( I don't know how its reasonable to expect to shepherd the hearts of your children as Gods word calls us to, without BEING WITH them. And its not about just having the status of SAHM, but having it be your calling as well. Many sahms assume the status without the heart and sense of calling, and it shows, sadly. If you have young kids your calling is to love and nurture them, which can truly only be done in a deep relationship, which takes TIME and PRESENCE that are not available to a full time working mom. tenthousandbesidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13620036930297975510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-70971378861407007962014-02-12T05:50:01.258-08:002014-02-12T05:50:01.258-08:00Our family serves overseas in a VERY large metropo...Our family serves overseas in a VERY large metropolitan city. We lead a team focusing on a very difficult group in a situation where we have to do a secular job in order to even live in this place. Often, we have Mom's that are so stressed because of expectations they have of what the "perfect" Christian family should look like. However, there just aren't enough hours in the day to do language study, run a business, meet new people and develop relationships, have one hour + Bible time, family night, Sabbath Sunday, dinner on the table with everyone seated around it by 7, clean house, shopping, homeschool, local school, or international school, kids in stimulating activities, daddy at home reading to them nightly, and on and on I could go. ALL of these are great but they become burdensome and idols when we exalt them to define good "Christian" families. I have begun to ask myself when I am stressed about something I think I should be doing but am not..."Am I saying to the women that I wish to reach for Christ, either by my words otherwise, that they can only have a joyful Christ exalting family if they...???" Most of the women in our community could never attain this June Cleaver status. What is essential? Am I doing that? If God makes a way for me to add to that something that seems to be right for our family at that time, how do I talk about it? Do I become like the pharisees and add a yolk that my sisters were never meant to bear or do I inspire them to love Jesus more and cling to Him? The older I get the more I long for heaven, Eden restored and there is no need for a sun.Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01735547612242593339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-28251677919921674182014-01-11T21:17:25.368-08:002014-01-11T21:17:25.368-08:00I'm not going to talk to the should you or sho...I'm not going to talk to the should you or shouldn't you work outside of the home issue here but I do want to ask you SorJen, why are you under the called in to work by God category, when you "hope" that one day very soon you'll be a SAHM? If you, and I dare not judge, are a Christian, living according to God's commands, and seeking His will, I ask how can you be "called" to the work force, when He is placing a desire in your heart (a good and biblical one) to be a SAHM? That would be where I would start? It is possible to be a Christian whether we work outside the home or not, and the argument on here as to who's holier than the other is foolish..... In any situation that I find myself in with someone else, I need to remind myself that I put Christ on the cross.... It was my sins. When put in that perspective how can I not have grace for another mother, one who works outside the home, or one who is super mom inside the home. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00799944227274580857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-61551125117517094912014-01-11T07:54:41.633-08:002014-01-11T07:54:41.633-08:00Great post Jen....I tell everyone who ever refers ...Great post Jen....I tell everyone who ever refers to themselves as a stay-at-home-mom that they are "human development specialists." Lets change the perspective of the worldKay Trotterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958489476093657251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-46452262717926224232013-09-07T09:18:01.540-07:002013-09-07T09:18:01.540-07:00Good reading, thank you to all who have shared. I ...Good reading, thank you to all who have shared. I am "new" to the work field. After being home for 27 years I am now in the work field and know that this is how I am being my husbands "helpmeet". He has worked in construction for 40 something years and after raising our children with the exception of our youngest who we adopted after our daughter was killed in a car accident. This is the season my husband has askd for "help". Our son is nine, and our eldst daughter has stepped in to help with the cares of him after school. It is such a blessing to see how the Lord works in our lives when we set aside our expectations, and our ideas. He has been so faithful to teach me so much during all the seasons of my life. I struggle wit hguild at times because I "think" this isn't biblical, only because I was a devoted stay at home mom and judged others who worked, and thought for a time that being a stay at home mom, homeschooling, cooking everything from scratch, sewing the clothes and all the other stuff was the "only" way and was full of pride.<br />I am thankful thay the Lord doesn't judge us according to what we deserve, and I will continue to passionatley seek HIM and HIM alone and not others opinions. I can say that I have a greater compassion for those who balance it all. Let's be women of the word who encourages others according to "their" needs, and not what we think they need.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13221446984562246955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-21949051647943527402013-07-31T07:17:16.112-07:002013-07-31T07:17:16.112-07:00From the Pulpit Commentaries: "Workers at hom...From the Pulpit Commentaries: "Workers at home (οἰκουργούς, for the T.R. οἰκουρούς). Neither word occurs elsewhere in the New Testament or in the LXX., nor does οἰκουργός in classical Greek. But οἰκουρός, which is probably the true reading (Huther), is common in good classical Greek for 'stayers at home.' It is derived from οῖκος and οῦρος, a 'keeper.'"<br /><br />Most of the "maid-servants" of the bible were probably slaves, who had no choice but to work. Others were probably unmarried women with no children.<br /><br />Ruth gleaned out of financial necessity, before having kids. It would seem rather odd if she continued to work as a farm labourer after marrying Boaz, a wealthy landowner.<br /><br />timhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14683467307465811950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-77126641546250968442013-07-31T03:16:07.725-07:002013-07-31T03:16:07.725-07:00I don't see which part of Titus 2 talks about ...I don't see which part of Titus 2 talks about women staying at home. It says women should be busy at home and the way I understand that is "Just cos you are at home, don't while away your time and waste it in gossip." Which I am afraid a lot of women who stay at home tend to do. When interpreting a verse, it's important to check the context in which a verse is being written.... <br /><br />Do you think there were no working women in Biblical times? What about the 'maidservants' that the Bible talks about? Ruth was a 'working woman' don't you think?ariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10710357731944399215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-83042597948451455482013-07-31T03:05:01.403-07:002013-07-31T03:05:01.403-07:00So very true. I have often been told by well-meani...So very true. I have often been told by well-meaning Christians that the woman's place is at home. That that is God's plan. In fact, one of them directed me to Proverbs 31 as proof that a woman needed to be at home. I am so glad I revisited Proverbs 31 on that note. Because what Proverbs 31 talks about is a busy and hard working woman who supports her family and her husband. The woman is a HELPER to the man. If she can do it from within her home, great. I did that for 4 years as a freelance writer, but I had that option BECAUSE I am a writer. What if I weren't a writer who could work from just about anywhere?<br /><br />@ those here who've said that it's best for women stay at home: it's your call. there's NOTHING in the Bible to support that claim. God gives us the gift of free choice. Both men and women I believe are called to achieve their God given potential. One should not pursue their careers above God and that is true for men and women. I would say that women should not pursue their careers by sacrificing their families. But finding a balance is not impossible. I have had to forego higher paying jobs and roles because I did not want to compromise the time I spend with my family, because I believe that I should place the needs of my family above the demands of my job. Sure, I get bypassed during a promotion, but that's ok. I know that the fact that I too have a job has been of immense help to my husband who would otherwise have been under severe pressure to make ends meet.ariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10710357731944399215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-87606602540113847522013-07-21T15:58:35.076-07:002013-07-21T15:58:35.076-07:00While it is true that everyone is responsible for ...While it is true that everyone is responsible for making their own decisions about how they provide for a nurture their family, there is a reason why the churches have made a virtue of being a stay-at-home-mum - the principles are sound (remember we must look to the spirit and not the letter of the law - that means applying the principles instead of saying "show me where it says thou shalt not work"). Churches may not have always promoted that virtue in the right way, but the same could be said for all of us and our strongly held convictions. And if the church has inspired feelings of guilt that have prompted us to delve into our Bibles to "work out [our] own salvation with fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12) so much the better. After all, that's where we're ultimately supposed to go for guidance - Scripture, not Pastor.<br /><br />I believe there are a couple of main points that need to be considered when it comes to the question of mothers working outside the home, two of which I'll expand on here a little. One relates to the financial situation and that is, at what point do we actually start trusting God to supply all our material needs? Have we considered that God's idea of our material needs may be different to ours? Are we willing to accept His standards for our lives? I'm sure we've all said to God at some point in our lives (I know I have many times), "God, if you do this, I will do this". It took me far too long to realise how faithless I was. God does not reward faithlessness. Abram believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness (Genesis 15:6). If we believe God and strive for His ideal, actively pursue it regardless of cost, do we really think He will forsake us? Do we really think that making sacrifices to follow God will disadvantage our children?<br /><br />Another point to consider is authority. When a woman works outside the home it is usually also outside her husband's authority. My question is, is it wise for a woman to put herself under the authority of someone other than her husband? We are supposed to be "one flesh" with our husbands. Working outside of our husband's authority will never improve our marriage relationship. At best it can only hinder growth as a couple. And we know that the best thing for our children is a thriving marriage. All of us will attest that relationships are far more important that material wealth, but how many of us exchange the latter for the former? Why do we expect that following God will be easy? He didn't promise that, but He did promise rewards. Where does our treasure really lie?<br /><br />I hope people don't resent me for what I've said. I hope they'll instead use the questions I've raised as another opportunity to search the Scriptures and their own hearts. Remember that our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) and we must weigh up our feelings with what we know from Scripture. If there is conflict don't go with your gut, go with Scripture. <br /><br />NB. While these principles are universal, they are much harder to apply to single mothers. And this is one area that we, the church, have neglected badly. But until we get our "traditional" families on the right track, it is going to virtually impossible to give single mothers the proper support that they need.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12230002944704115960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-82775109232800740882013-07-01T08:37:28.134-07:002013-07-01T08:37:28.134-07:00I've been looking for an article regarding thi...I've been looking for an article regarding this issue for years! All of the ones that dealt with this highly debated topic was an extreme for one side or the other and no one articulated it as well as you did. I fall under called in to work by God category. Although I still hold hope that one day very soon I'll be a SAHM.SorJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03909996792008613985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-12751299074432756752013-06-03T17:44:45.871-07:002013-06-03T17:44:45.871-07:00Just stumbled upon your blog today (and then reali...Just stumbled upon your blog today (and then realized I had read your "permitted or pursued" post which I also loved). Thanks so much for the humility and honesty of this post. After 3+ years of parenting, I'm finally starting to feel free from the guilt (some put on me by myself and some from the Christian subculture you speak of) about working and being a mom. I'm don't have an acronym that sums me up (I'm home more than I am at work but I still work outside the home). I grew up being taught by my church community that working moms were selfish moms. This was really hard to get over when God made it clear that it was time to grow our family but we were still in a position where my income was needed to make ends meet. I still struggle with the guilt sometimes and with the insecurity of having people think I'm selfish (which I am but because I'm human not because I work). God has provided for our family as it has grown and grown over the past few years. He knows what He is doing and I'm thankful for the jobs He has provided for my husband and myself. Krystahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02169184064038381457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-30702246649465983092013-05-28T05:57:45.118-07:002013-05-28T05:57:45.118-07:00Thank you so much for your article. As a physicia...Thank you so much for your article. As a physician, I am one who is called to work outside the home and I appreciate your insights. Keep up the good work! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14597290480942315927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-10270558606892799342013-05-28T05:46:54.727-07:002013-05-28T05:46:54.727-07:00Jen,
I love the simplicity and clarity with which...Jen, <br />I love the simplicity and clarity with which you have written this. You touched my 'working mommy' heart. <br />Bindu crackling embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14773971167722650438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-16588708588685548952013-05-24T06:34:27.859-07:002013-05-24T06:34:27.859-07:00Jen,
Thank you for posting this. We need to end ...Jen, <br /><br />Thank you for posting this. We need to end the Mommy Wars, particularly within the Church. I launched http://www.workingmom.com ten years ago to provide help, resources and encouragement for all moms, and I'm so grateful when my sisters in Christ like you make room at the foot of the Cross for all of the Daughters of the King. Thank you, thank you, thank you.Sabrina O'Malonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17261914364901333403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-86155107949024037382013-04-28T21:03:23.148-07:002013-04-28T21:03:23.148-07:00This article is spot on. Every family has differen...This article is spot on. Every family has different experiences. Thank you!Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09330033113168391799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-73923826590879836542013-03-14T10:08:43.013-07:002013-03-14T10:08:43.013-07:00Jen, Thanks so much for this post! I love your ins...Jen, Thanks so much for this post! I love your insightful, thought-provoking writing. I think so much of this "debate" has not only been hurtful to Body relationships but also been harmful in clarifying the complementarian perspective. We muddy the waters with smaller issues like SAHM/WOHM that work to pit Xian against Xian. As a result, true Biblical complementarity suffers because it gets misinterpreted or gets known only by the baggage that is attached to it. I also think it's largely cultural because we have so many options in the US where work and homelife are separated. Women have worked for centuries - it was just that home and work were connected by the agricultural nature of things. I have been a SAHM, a ministry mom during our Campus Crusade years, and a part-time WOHM now. I can see pros and cons to all of these options. Thanks again for writing on what can be a touchy subject :) Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07624263759569957600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6892445584591819741.post-77428589366078154922013-03-13T14:24:40.585-07:002013-03-13T14:24:40.585-07:00I agree that SAHMs should search their hearts to e...I agree that SAHMs should search their hearts to ensure that they do not look down on any of their sisters for ANY reason. I think that some women do not have a choice about working outside of the home. However, I think that those women are few and far between. <br /><br />God clearly states that our primary role should be in the home (Titus 2.) He even says that we should teach our children about Him 24/7 (Deut. 11:19.) Obviously this is impossible if we're working (many SAHMs don't do this either!) Then our kids go to public school and are taught another religion, secular humanism, which ends up making 70% of them leave the church-never to return-after they graduate from high school. (I was a hs science teacher.) Being a SAHM and home schooler doesn't guarantee that your children will beat these odds, but it gives you more opportunities (time) to use God's word to mold your children's hearts than a WOHM has. Home schooling allows you to give your children a biblical worldview, instead of a secular one.<br /><br />Most WOHM that I know will admit that they are NOT what the government calls in "poverty." In fact, only 8.8% of those in 8 milllion Americans in poverty are intact families: http://familyfacts.org/charts/327/two-in-five-single-mother-families-are-poor. The people that the government calls in "poverty" have multiple televisions, cable, and internet: http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2011/07/what-is-poverty. Many people in "poverty" simply do not know how to steward their money wisely. I think many Christians, similarly, do not know how to steward their money wisely. All this aside, some women really do NEED to work because they have real financial issues. But many times I have found that many women simply are not willing (or afraid) to give up their standard of living or do not want to give up their self-fulfilling career. <br /><br />I say all this as one of two (the other one is the pastor's wife) women who is a SAHM at my church. I feel looked down upon because I chose to be a SAHM. I do not regret my decision. I do NOT think I am able to be a SAHM because I am of "rare socio-economic privilege"-ha-not at all. I think I am simply willing to tighten my belt (not that WOHM aren't-but I think many are enslaved by money. My mom chose to stay at home while my dad was in medical school-it took a long time to pay off all the student loans-but she doesn't regret it for a second.) I think being a SAHM should be every Christian woman's goal as it is the route God reveals in scripture. It is good to hold up such a standard-but you are right that it is NOT okay to build it up as an idol. On the other hand, we should NOT be prideful or look down on those who still work because it really is necessary sometimes. <br /><br />The Church should NOT devalue WOHM because sometimes it IS necessary to be one. But I think the Church should encourage women to be SAHM because it is our biblical role. Yes, we must exalt Christ as Lord-which means we must also examine what He says in all things and then, through His grace, do it.alyssahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14242693633683209128noreply@blogger.com